2005-06-10 - 1:07 a.m.

Here's some random thoughts that I wanted to put down.

My wife, DAYna has been saying lately that she's sick of always having to censor herself; That we shouldn't have to, just for the fear of standing out and being the odd one out in a crowd.
Yesterday, before my Acting I class was to perform, the director had us all join hands in a circle. I am familiar with "power circles" in theatre, where we enthusiastically say that we are going to have a good show, projection, remember our lines, have fun, and etc. So, I go fill the only vacant spot and join hands. Then the director speaks. "Dear, Lord - our holy father who art in heaven, please give us the power to...(blah, blah, blah) and let jesus fill our hearts and...(blah blah blah)" You get the point (the "blah"s, obviously mine). I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to offend people by leaving, so I just stood there and without notice neglected to join in on the closing "Amen". Why did I worry about offending them? Obviously nobody worried about offending me; about assuming that I hold the same beliefs - or if not, then making it known that I SHOULD. So, then why didn't I just drop hands and go back to rehearsing my lines and let the Christians do their Christian thing? Answer: Because I'm a puss. Because I've had it beat into me that I'm not normal for not always agreeing with whatever majority I happen to be around. I used to not understand why some people throw a hissy fit just because some people are practicing their beliefs in front of them. I never understood why constant references to God and Jesus in schools and the like bothered people. I just thought, "If you don't believe it, then it's not like you're sinning by having to listen to it for a minute. ...I now realize how ignorant I was. I now understand the feeling that you get that you are beneath them, worthless, and a freak for not being like everyone else. I get it now...and it sucks.

More randomness: Why are conservatives so agressive and liberals not? - this goes along with the self-censorship thing. If it's ok for them to go around making everyone else feel like shit for not thinking like them, then damnit, why can't we do the same? Why can't we start vocalizing that we think they're just as imoral and frightening as they think we are? Why not let them know that from our point of view, it is us who should be looknig down on them in awe from disgust? It's the truth! They're just allowed to shove it down our throats for some strange reason while we sit and say, "ok, if that's how you feel, you're certainly entitled to your opinion" and then totally ignore our own opinions. Enough is enough. I want to start organizing liberals to start walking around town, knocking on doors, looking for "good, moral liberals" and then asking the "conservative sinners" why they choose to live their life in such a way and offer them salvation through open-mindedness, kindness, and equal rights for all. That's, ALL - meaning EVERYBODY (including us timid-ass liberals this time). Let's group. Let's organize. Let's vocalize. They do it nonstop and that's why they're kickin' our asses right now. Let's stop smiling and nodding and respond back with "No, YOU'RE wrong. Now shut up, and listen to ME for a change." I don't see how that's not fair. I don't see why we can't do it. Damnit, I'm gonna start telling people they're wrong when I think they're wrong, cause I had to take that shit my whole life, so why shouldn't they for a change?

More randomness still: Why the death penalty doesn't make sense: If a rule is set that all who murder are murdered, then a neverending chain of murder has been created.

One reason that I hope that there either isn't a God, or if there is, that he/she/it is NOTHING even CLOSE to what's described in the Bible: You can't set a rule and not follow it. If you set a rule and say that it is the only way, it applies to you as well. If the God in the bible was walking around Earth, doing the kind of things that God does in the bible, he or she would be condemned by the Christians (of all people) for countless crimes against humanity. He or she would be viewed as about as evil as evil gets.

That's some of what I think and if you don't like it, I don't care anymore. G'night.

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